Ninja Burger Haiku By You
Window crashes in Sounds of trash can toppling down Next time better tip Where did it come from Nothing was there before now I turned around; food Opening the door Where is the delivery- Oh, there it is. Mmm. Speedy ninja man Bring burgers to my home now Or die in attempt My dog knows better Than to bark at man in black He tried it one time - C. Hamlin Sizzling on the grill Twin spatulas flipping to Katana-sliced bun Ancient folded blades Weave a deadly dance in air, Slicing tomatoes That sound... intruder! I let shuriken fly and Salt most honored fries Oops.. um, sorry, boss. Kneeling with wakizashi I speak my last words... "Combo number three Is done... deliver swiftly!" ... then die with honor. - jewel I place an order for a Ninja Burger meal Silent tasty food In the dead of night I turn and look behind me Ninja with sandwich Money in his hand, he bows quite honorably, and he vanishes. "How did he do this?" I think as I eat my meal. "Secret of Ninja." - PingReset-san Webvan dishonor Customers go hungry now Ninja Burger saves WebVan coupons good for fifty cents off right now at Ninja Burger Always hot and fresh Guaranteed delivery or else, seppuku Call, there in half hour don't need credit card number they already know Did I unlock door? Is alarm on? Never mind Food's already here Credit card is billed Delivery, 90 bucks?!?!? Better not complain Ninja business plan: no unhappy customers... to be left alive - Anonymous (originally posted at FuckedCompany.com) 'Twas the night before Christmas, a Monday I think, and in my small fridge I found no food or drink. My stomach growled in hunger and despair. I had to find some food, but where where where?!? My children were nestled all snug in their beds, confident that, come morning, they would be fed. If I ordered out, that would make things alright, but who would deliver so late at night? Suddenly on the lawn there arose such a clatter, that I ran to the window to see what was the matter. Then what to my wondering eyes should appear, but a Ninja and Samurai with their battle gear. Then what did I see in the Ninja's left hand? Two bags of take out; the Ninja burger brand!! This Ninja that had come, he would save the day, but first he'd get the Samurai out of his way. As leaves that before the wild hurricane fly, the Ninja was quick, stealthy and sly. The Samurai attacked, but missed by a mile, And though his face was covered I'm sure the Ninja did smile. Before he could recover from his misguided blow, the Samurai was struck, and fell face down in the snow. Then quick as a flash, the Ninja was gone, leaving the Samurai's corpse, to rest on my lawn. Then from behind me, I heard a soft sound. My heart skipped a beat and I spun around, and there on the counter, was a sight for sore eyes; two little human meals, a Ninja burger and fries. I put my hand to my chest, and let out a sigh. My problem was solved, despite that foolish Samurai, and as I took my first bite, I heard a voice from the sky, "Taste the Ninja burger difference, or die!!!" - Zee Like winter snowfall if i receive my food cold bitter seppuku - Haruyasu Kosugi -san Seppuku Pokey You put your sword in your stomach You take your sword out of your stomach You put your sword in your stomach and you shake it all around You do the sepukku to save the honor of your family That's what it's all about. - Mateo0007 Thirty-two minutes: Customer's not happy with Late delivery. I have been disgraced; Spill my entrails on the floor; The burgers were late. - Haruko Ogata-san silent man in black poised birdlike in my bushes leaves a combo meal caltrop of bright steel concealed between meat and cheese reminds one to tip arterial blood mingles like husband to wife becomes one with ketchup -One OverZerO Silent snow essence Pond edges frozen softly Withered grass remains Crisp Autumnal day An organized mutiny Martyred leaves detach. Her poisoned beauty Resting unannounced within-- Ninja-to scabbard From his destiny. Moving slowly, suddenly, The man walked away Delicate ferns grow In the shadows of the oak Embroidered sunlight Summit conference Yields Paper Tiger Regime, War within the sects. -Gray Ninja My stomach grumbles Growing ever hungrier Nothing in the fridge Call up pizza place Far too expensive, I think They don't deliver That's when I see it- ninja running across lawn quickly he is gone Call Ninja Burger Their food is appetizing Plus, they deliver "30 minutes or else"-that is the Ninja code- yes...but or else what? I notice the breeze The window is now open Ninja stands behind. "100 yen. NOW!" he says, and I pay then ask "What if food is late?" "SEPPUKU!" he screams then jumps out open window. Swiftly he is gone. I do not tip him- That's against the Ninja code. My food is awesome. -Rdish "No Sweat" ninja carry meal fight samurai on rooftop swift delivery "Failed Daylight Raid" feel Dim Mak death touch haha foolish samurai can't steal secret sauce "Costly Mix Up" dog feel prick on neck delivery made on time dog stiff, oops wrong dart "Price Of Failure" spatulas move swift three burger hit grill, one gone boss struck, ninja die ~Hisao Fujita-san Soft like leaves in wind Does my burger come for me. Tip two hundred yen. - Black on black on black. The ninja wears a uniform; Babe magnet, for sure. - Our ninja are so skilled That there is no need to say "You want fries with that?" - We need no ad like, "Ancient Chinese secret, huh?" Our burger well known. - Cherry blossoms fall As ninja and samurai Battle for service. One man lay down dead. A knock on the door. Who won? "Ninja Burger." "Thanks." - How is our Onion Death Blossom like the ninja? Both go with no trace. - Ancestors teach us The secret of hand-broiled No-meat, all-soy goods. Many a rookie Burns himself with the mis-use Of ancient knowledge. Proper mastery Can take students years to learn. It is well worth it. With hand-broiled soy, Customer taste the true chi Of the master chef. - Ninja in the tree Contemplates the Zen koan Of Joshu and MU "Did he mean the moo of cow? The meat we mock with two handfuls of soy?" "Uh-oh." The watch shows Our ninja philosopher He must deliver. - Flip, sizzle, fizz. Foodstuffs of Ninja Burger Have no innate stealth. - Samurai chicken. While he may run and hide out, The sandwich tastes good. - "HI-YA!""Ow, that smarts!" In training the ninja learns To defend himself. On city rooftop, Lone delivery ninja Defeats foe quick. - Silence is the key. The Art of Stealth takes nothing but utter silence. - Fanboy write haiku To offer as most grand gift. Domo, Aeon-san. - Rigil Paix
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